Sex after pregnancy

As a brand-new mother, you have a lot to deal with. You get a lot of new impressions, worry about everything, have sleepless nights, chronic lack of time, and probably don’t even know how to spell the word romance. You may be thinking; will this ever work out? Am I ever going to feel like having sex again? The answer to that is: yes.

When can you have sex again?

If it is medically justified and when you are ready. The cervix must be completely closed. If this is not the case and you are still bleeding, the risk of infection is higher because the cervix is not yet completely closed. Until then, the advice is not to have penetrative sex. During your follow-up checkup, the doctor will check if everything has healed again and thus if it is safe to have sex.

Not having a libido

Besides your vagina being medically totally approved, there is another part that plays a big role in having sex: your libido. In your new role as a mother, sex or romance may not be on your priority list. And it may also be that you just don’t feel like it. Logical. Of course, you shouldn’t have sex if your gut tells you not to, but it is an important part of a healthy relationship.

A tip from sex and relationship therapist Ann-Marlene Henning, Hamburg:

“Talk about it with your partner, avoid feelings of rejection or insecurity. That’s how you keep your relationship healthy until you’re both ready to make love again.”

Ervaring seks journalist Marith Iedema:

“I had an active and exciting sex and love life when I got pregnant. And I was determined to keep it that way. My partner and I, unlike most couples, would not go into a relationship slump. Sex is my work.

Well, that turned out to be boundless self-aggrandizement. Keeping your love life “spicy” during pregnancy, or when your baby – after delivery – takes up all your time and energy is no easy task. And sex after childbirth was nowhere near as good as before. Something that unfortunately applies to many women. But I wasn’t about to throw in the towel. I think it is important to do your very best not to let your sex life completely collapse. Because especially in this tough period, you could very well use the effect of (good) sex on your relationship: intimacy, mildness, feeling good about each other?”

Would you like more tips on how to get your sex life back after having a baby? Then read Marith Iedema’s latest blog on our website.